I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
