He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
