I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
