We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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