you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
