Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
