I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
