I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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