East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
