If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
