I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
sex in a hospital.. check
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
