Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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