your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
