dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
