OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They have beer where we have blood.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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