Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize