We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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