But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
