Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
