Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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