PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
