I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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