You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
