she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
