he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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