I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
