That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to walk on stilts...naked
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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