That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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