party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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