i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
