at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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