My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
