I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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