please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
