Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
