I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
