Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize