if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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