dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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