it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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