I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize