I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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