im holly from the hills drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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