There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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