I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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