I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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