she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
