I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
