I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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