I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
