Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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