Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
