I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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