you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
