Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
