And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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