I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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