i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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