I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
