i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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