Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize