She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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