I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
